I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He shit in the fireplace
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
