Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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