Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
