I don't think brook has ever known best
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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