but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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