Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
