3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
