Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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