you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
