Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just tell him i said nine months
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
