Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize