He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
