Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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