and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize