Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
