My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
