so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
