Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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