You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
