you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
