i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
