Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
