I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
