Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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