I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just tell him i said nine months
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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