Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
