We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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