You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
