last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
