How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
