My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
