she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
