this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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