we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
