You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
