it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
