Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I didn't notice because vodka
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize