she looked like the bat from fern gully.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
