White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
