Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
