Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
