no. you can't hotbox the world.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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