Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
