i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
