South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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