I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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