'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
