so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you traded sex for a burrito?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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