Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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