Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
