dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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