Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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