And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
