i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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