saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
