"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
where does the pee come out of this thing
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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